I’ll Fight For You (Sliders Pilot Part 1)

Note: I just found this after posting it somewhere else.Sadly, the Kickstarter did not get Twilight riffed on, we’ll have to “settle” for Starship Troopers  

First off, This has to happen!

Woo hoo, finally a reason to see a Twilight film if you’re someone other than a a 14 year old girl…

Note: There will be some seasons of some shows that I just will not touch, I’m talking to you, Sliders  seasons 2-5.

All housekeeping aside, I had planned to kick things off with a scathing review #HoldYourBreath, but I haven’t watched it, so I can’t fairly review it, so I’m thinking of doing the first episode of the greatest series of the 1990’s, wait that needs some clarifying…It’s the greatest alternate reality show of the 1990’s. There, that’s seems more accurate. I am talking about…..

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Incase you havent heard of Sliders, and that’s entirely possible considering it aired on FOX, and as per usual, was cancelled really quickly, and aired out of order in some cases. Following it’s run on FOX, it limped over to Sci-Fi where it would die a slow, low budgeted death. Before that, there would be really good episodes, mainly in the first season, and logically, that’s where we’ll start with the Pilot.

Air Date: 3/22/95

The show starts off with “Somewhere In a San Francisco Basement”. Normally, no good would come of that locale. We know we’re in San Francisco, because Quinn Mallory is shown wearing a San Jose Sharks Jersey in a video diary. This was when their teal color scheme was all the rage. After panning through his room, complete with 49ers hat, as we are in San Francisco, hmm no Giants or Warriors or A’s stuff that I saw…interesting.

Quinn’s mother provides backstory, telling us that his father worked himself to death, and he races off to school, late for a class with Professor Arturo, who as we will find out, is somewhat of a blowhard, but Quinn seems to like him, having read all his books, he’s smart you see.

After this, we whisk to the computer store where Quinn works along with his friend Wade Wells, who has managed to score some hockey tickets.

In walks Mr. Computer boy, I dont think was his actual name, if it was, he’s in the right profession as the manager of a computer store. Coming home, Quinn encounters what will be, and this can not be understated, the most important thing ever, the squeaky gate at home. Trust me, it comes up… a lot more than a squeaky gate should, which is probably like once, twice if you’re the lazy sort.

Our first slide! Mazel tov. The first difference he notices, is that on this Earth, greens means stop. He seems to discount an awful lot of clues that he’s not home. The Elvis billboard finally gets the point across, but even more so, that gate didn’t squeak. That gets a bigger reaction from him than anything else, even more than seeing his mom pregnant with the gardner’s child, which I guess there’d be time for, since the gardner has finally fixed the squeaky gate.

Quinn giddily hugs everyone after his return, then gads off to school to share in his wonder with Prof. Aturo, who was really mad at Quinn for something he doesn’t remember doing.

After this….off to the computer store, where we find out Quinn was fired for telling off the manager, and he apparently kissed Wade…(cue soap opera music)

Ross J Kelley will fight for you, incase you weren’t sure about that, apparently he specializes in injuries that would only happen to people in cartoons

Egad! someone has drawn a smiley face on Quinn’s blackboard of fancy science type equations. The other Quinn explains the show’s premise, and title. He’ll go on to explain some plot point that I think was pretty important, but nobody hears it because of some noise.

Wade and Arturo, I guess they just show up at the Mallory house, and after they exchange pleasantries with Mrs. Mallory we finally get to see The Spinning Tops, and more importantly, Cryin’ Man Rembrant Brown who is making his big comeback by singing the national anthem at a Giants game, not singing for the queen if you wondering. Since it’s the 90’s, Rembrant’s apparently solid gold tux is festooned with ribbons…ha!

To the basement, where Arturo is really impressed with the smiley face on the board, which he expresses in ignoring it totally by raving about the equations before it.

Quinn says it gets a lot better, which you’d think is like 2 or 3 smiley faces, but instead he opens up a wormhole and says he doesn’t have a dog.

While this is going on, the apparently delusional Rembrant is practicing his butchering of the national anthem.

In a crucial move, Quinn increases the power of the timer, irking his mother who was chopping carrots, but also getting Rembrant and his Cadillac sucked into the wormhole where they land on a really cold (brrrr) San Francisco, which as I remember it, isn’t that much of a step down from regular San Francisco.

Is Sliding better than sex? Wade thinks so, while Arturo is more measured. Thus we witness the start of a debate that would rage on…Oh, nope, they never mention it again, but they do look at a picture, so there’s that.

The way he goes on, you’d think Rembrant was singing for the Queen, but there bickering is interrupted by the approach of a SyFy movie, as an ice twister heads their way, forcing their hands in using the timer before it runs out.

Why does he never put the wormholes in an easily accessible place, here it’s in the sky and everyone has to jump for it.

Through the wormhole they go, ending with the first of many scene of people falling on each other.

Cliffhanger!!!! Nobody sees Quinn and Wade is sad…

We’ll find out what happens to Quinn on the next episode, titled “Pilot:Part 2”

Now, while Sliders hasn’t exactly aged well in the near 20 years since it first aired as far as the effects, which would go downhill later on, the premise is great, and holds up well. It was when the show started to mimic popular movies, did it lose me, but we’ll get to that…maybe… Until next time, when we travel through the wormhole and land face first in

“Pilot: part 2”